Why? Who? When? Where?
by MoronicShrew
Summary: The sequel to "the Difference Between the 2", from the POV of Rafe and Evelyn's daughter. As she leaves her childhood and innocence behind, she wonders about her brother and the legacy of the grave in the backyard; and asks why there are constant tears an
1. Breakfast

A/N: I realize that this is cheesy, but, I don't know. I just felt the inspiration to write this, so, I did. Deal. :)  
  
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September 5, 1960  
  
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I gave myself one more look in the mirror before going downstairs for breakfast, making sure my brown, cropped hair was in place, and my father's dog tags that I wore ever so proudly were showing on my orange sundress. Satisfied, I nodded quickly to myself and ran down the wooden stairs and into the kitchen. My mother was at the stove, placing the contents of eggs and bacon onto 4 plates. I smiled. Evelyn McCawley could take on the world, yet still find time to do the simple things. I learned this from watching her. I'd watched her for the past 14 years, and I didn't plan on stopping. I hoped that one day I could be like her. Although, I would rather be like my father. My father was everything to me, and more. I admired him so much. I remember when I was little, while my mother and brother slept, he would light the fireplace and sit me on his lap, and tell me stories of how he fought in World War II. He was such a hero. I shook my head free of my thoughts, and looked around to notice that no one was in the kitchen but my mother. I then remembered that I had a question to ask her. "Mama?" She turned around and smiled at me. For 40 years old, she was beautiful. I hoped I still looked 30 when I was 40. "Good morning, honey." She turned her attention back to our breakfast. "Good morning. I was wondering if I could maybe have some friends over tonight?" "Who?" She asked, nonchalantley. I thought for a minute. I was supposed to ask her a week ago, but it slipped my mind, and now I had forgotten who I was going to have over. "Tina, Brenda, and Amelia." She didn't even pause. "If it's ok with your father and brother." I walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, then laughed. "Why would it have to be ok with Danny?" She shrugged and placed the plates on the table. "Maybe he wanted someone over? I don't know. Just go in the living room and fetch your father. Tell him breakfast is ready." I nodded. My father wouldn't care. He pretty much let me do what I wanted, but I didn't know why. And I didn't really care if my brother cared or not. While he was the only brother I would ever have, and I loved him, sometimes he just got on my nerves. I straightened my dress out while I slowly approached my father. He was sitting in his chair, his light brown hair graying slightly, and his reading glasses pushed tightly on his face as he read the newspaper. "Daddy?" I asked. He looked up at me. "Yes, Rebecca?" "First off, mama told me to tell you that breakfast is ready, and secondly, would it be alright if I had some friends over tonight?" He nodded. "Ofcourse. You know I don't mind," I smiled. "Let's go eat." I nodded and laughed as he stood up and tickled my neck. He laughed with me, and we walked into the kitchen. My mother had just seated herself. "It's a wonder it's not cold. Will someone call Danny, please?" I nodded and braced my throat for some yelling. My brother was deaf. Well, either that, or he just liked to make me mad by ignoring me. "FLY BOY!!! COME DOWN FOR BREAKFAST!" I saw my mother wince a little at the nickname I had ever so devilishly given my older brother, but I just shrugged it off. She winced at the littlest things. I then heard them. The footsteps of my brother. Stupidity in human form. Well, he was stupid to me anyway. He would always purposely try to aggrivate me, and I just didn't see a purpose. Hmm, oh well. His tall frame walked into the kitchen, and I looked at his uncombed brown hair. I almost spat out my milk from laughing, and looking at the green aviator sunglasses he was wearing made me laugh even harder. He did this every day, but I wouldn't understand until later, and so it was always funny to me. My father stiffened, and my mother spoke calmly-but-firmly. "Daniel, if you will please take those sunglasses off, I would find my breakfast to be much more enjoyable." He shrugged and removed the sunglasses, only to reveal the brown eyes my mother hated so much for some reason. She lifted her head. "Thank," Her eyes welled up with tears. "You." She then her tears fall, one by one. Danny just rolled his eyes. "Shit, I did it again." I looked confused. "Did what?" He just shook his head and ran up stairs, leaving me to watch my father try and console my mother. "Rebecca, can you please go upstairs?" I pleaded. "But daddy, I'm not through eating." His voice became stern. "PLEASE, go upSTAIRS." I took my que and nodded, leaving my eggs and bacon at the table.   
  
My mind raced as I walked up the stairs to Danny's room. This had happened every other day since I had been alive, so I was used to it. But I didn't understand why. Why would my mother just start bawling when she looked at my brother? Why did my brother have the last name Walker, instead of McCawley like the rest of us? Why did my brother look nothing like my father, only like a man I once saw in a picture in my father's office. And why was that picture hidden in the office that we were forbidden to go in to? Why would my brother wear those sunglasses every day? Why, when we go to the field for a family memorial service on December 7th, would he wear a battered, yellow hula shirt instead of black like the rest of us? And I would give money to have my next question answered. Who was buried in my back yard? Who was Daniel Walker, the man who shared my brothers name, and who had lived a short life from 1918-1942?  
  
I knocked on the wooden door, and got no answer. I rolled my eyes and walked in anyway. Danny was laying on the bed in the dark, with a candle lit, and the sunglasses on. "Danny, let's go. We'll miss the school bus," He didn't acknowledge me. "Danny! Take those stupid things off!" I didn't give him a chance to respond, only grabbed the sunglasses myself. I barely got them off of his face before I felt his strong arm grab my hand so hard, it would later bruise. "Ow! Danny, you're hurting me!" He took the glasses off hastily and glared at me. "Don't you EVER touch those again! Do you hear me?" I nodded slowly, tears slowly forming. I then saw a sudden look of remorse come into his dark brown eyes, and he let go of my hand. "Oh my God. I'm sorry, Becky. I didn't mean to." I backed away, slowly. "It's ok, Danny. You never mean to do anything." He looked confused and stood up. "What's that supposed to mean?" "You never mean to hurt me when I touch something of yours, you never mean to make mama cry, you never mean to make daddy cry, you also never mean to wake anyone up when you sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to go to the barn." He looked down in sorrow. "Becky, come here." I contemplated. Was I still mad at him? I decided I had nothing to lose, so I did walk over to him. He grabbed me and pulled me into the biggest hug he had ever given me. "You're 14 years old. I know you're confused, and I'm sorry. You'll understand someday." "Understand what?" He sighed and pulled away, looking me in the eye. "Why you live in a household that does nothing but cry and mourn."  
  
I stepped off of the bus slowly, instantly seeing my 3 best friends beside the door, complete with overnight bags. I'm glad my parents agreed. "Becky McCawley!" I walked over to them, and gave them the best smile I could. With a morning like mine, considering it had been worse than usual, the smile wasn't much. "Hey, girls." "Are we still on for tonight?" Tina asked, her blonde hair blowing in the Tennessee wind. I nodded slowly. "Yeah, we are." Amelia giggled, tossing her red hair behind her back. "Good. I get to sleep under the same roof as Danny Walker! Ah!" The other girls laughed, while I shook my head. "So rude. Is that the only reason you're coming over? To woo and spy on my brother?" Amelia gave me a look of repulse. "Why would you even think that? You know you're my best friend, Becky. I just like to pick on you for having a brother that was voted best looking in the year book last year." I laughed a little. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad day. 


	2. Respect For the Dead

I stepped off of the school bus behind my brother, my 3 friends in tow. I grunted at the long walk I was about to take back to my house. It was inevitable; we lived far out, so the school bus would only take us so far. I didn't understand. In the morning, it came all the way to our dirt drive way, but in the afternoon, it stopped over half a mile from the drive. I hated it. Why did they make us walk when it was hot? Oh well. There's nothing I could do about it. Why did I even fuss over such a smile thing? Oh well. I was like that. Like my mother, I suppose. She fussed over small things. Like the time she got mad at me for saying that Nashville was the entirety of Davidson County. I was 12, how was I supposed to know? But, hey, I was right. Hehe, I got her back for that one. "Ugh, Becky?" I turned around. "Ugh, Brenda?" She fanned herself with her hands. "It's hot!" I turned around and kept walking. "I know!" My gosh, these girls were ditzy sometimes. "Well, how about you walk back and then have your dad drive up and get the rest of us or something?" I purposely ignored her. Brenda was constantly complaining. "Bbbeeccckkkyyyy!!!" Danny spun around. "God! We know it's hot! We have to walk back, just as you guys do. Deal with it." He immediately turned back around and started sprinting. In an effort to get home faster, I guess. I turned around, expecting to see my friends stopped with looks of murder. Instead, I found them stopped with looks of amazement. "You guys coming?" They all looked from one to another, smiles forming on all their faces. They then squealed and started jumping. Brenda spoke first. "Girls, he talked to me!" I laughed and rolled my eyes. Interesting.  
  
I opened the screen door and held it open for my friends. Once they were all in, I walked in behind them and shut it. "Just go on up to my room, girls. I'll be up in a minute." Tina grinned. "Your room is the room next to Danny's, right?" I rolled my eyes and sat my book bag down next to the coat rack. "Don't even think about it. I'll be up shortly." They all laughed and ran up the wooden stairs. Surely I could trust them long enough to say hello to my parents. I entered the kitchen, where my mother was washing dishes and humming, and my father was sitting at the table, fixing his watch. "Good afternoon, Daddy." I kissed him on the cheek. He smiled at me. "You too, precious. Have a good day?" I nodded and walked up to my mother, giving her a hug. "What did you do today, Mama?" She sighed and put the last plate in the dish holder. "I stayed around here today. I couldn't think of anything we needed to go to town for," I nodded. "Honey, I'm sorry about that episode of mine this morning." I smiled, weakly. "Oh, it's alright." She shook her head. "No, no. It's not. I was alright for many years, and as your brother got older I just...got worse," I looked at my father. He seemed to be not listening, as his face was emotionless and he was concentrating on his watch. "I'm trying, Becky. I really am. Some day soon I'll be normal again." I nodded. This was bull crap. "Ok, Mama." She smiled and kissed me on the cheek. "Go upstairs, your friends are waiting." I nodded and walked out of the kitchen, and I'll give money at the thought that if my parents knew I was standing right outside the door, they wouldn't have said a word. I heard a chair move, and assumed my mother had sat down. "Rafe, what happened?" "I'm sorry?" "We were doing so good. Well, you still are. We had moved on. So why, 2 years ago, did I have to get bad?" I heard him sigh. "I don't know, Ev. But you can't keep acting like it Danny's fault. If you keep getting worse the older he gets, it'll be the death of you. You can't stop him from looking or sounding the way he does, and you've got to try. We can't keep doing this to ourselves, him, or Becky." "I know, Rafe. I know." I ran upstairs at that. What were they talking about? I was sure that when I found out, I'd feel insanely stupid for not putting 2 and 2 together. But, I wasn't putting 2 and 2 together, so I was still a lost little puppy dog, looking for answers.   
  
I laughed and threw a pillow at Amelia, in reponse to a story she had just told. The 4 of us were sitting in the dark, with nothing but a flashlight, telling ghost stories. "Ok, Becky. We've told all of ours. You have to tell yours now." I looked down. "Sorry, Brenda. I don't really have one." Tina laughed. "Oh, come on! You have to have a ghost story!" "Well, I don't have a ghost story. But there's a grave in my backyard if that helps?" Tina just sat there. She knew, but she was also the only one who had ever been to my house. "No way!" Amelia sat up, fully alerted. I nodded. "Yes, way." "Who's is it?" She asked. "Well, I don't exactly know. I know his name, but as far as relationship or purpose or anything, I'm not sure." "Is it haunted?" Brenda asked. I laughed. "I don't think so. You can see it from my window, so I think I could tell you if there was anything odd going on." Brenda stood up and walked over to my window. "That tall, stone thing?" I nodded and pushed my crop cut behind my ears. She then walked over to my bed and picked up her robe. "Where are you going?" Uh oh. I'd done it. "Forget you guys, I'm going to go look at it!" I protested. "Brenda, no. Don't do it." "Why not?" "Because. We uh..have some crazy people running around these parts. The prison is right up the road, you know. It's dangerous for you to go outside be yourself." So what if that was far fetched? She shrugged. "Then you come with me." I shook my head. "No." Amelia stood up and got her robe from her bag. "Why, Rebecca? You afraid?" "No! I just...don't think it's right. And you guys can't possibly use the excuse that you want to mourn ot anything. You don't even know who the guy was!" Amelia sighed. "Becky, come on. What's the harm?" I grunted and opened my door, hastily. Brenda and Amelia ran out, while Tina just sat there. "Becky, what are you doing?" "i'm just going out there to let them fill their need, that's all." She shook her head and closed her eyes, as if she knew something I didn't. "Whatever you want, Becky. I just think that it's kind of disrespectful. Kind of like playing hide and go seek in a cemetary. You know?" I nodded. "I know. But I'll come right back." I closed my door, and ran down the stairs. When I saw a light on in the living room, I tiptoed to the door and opened it, pushing the feeling of guilt away. The girls were already outside. "Let's go." I whispered, quietly closing the door behind me. Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad if it wasn't 11 o'clock at night. We eventually reached the headstone. It was so..bland. Why did they wish to see it so badly? "Wow! A real grave!" I rolled my eyes. "As if you've never seen one, Amelia. Let's go back in." Brenda shivered. "Yeah, come on, Amy." Amelia just took her eyes away from the grave slowly, and nodded her head in agreement. "Ok, gosh. You girls are no fun." I grunted in disgust. "We're fun, we just have a little something called respect for the dead." "REBECCA!!" I heard my brother's voice screaming from the front porch. "Shit! You guys, hide!" Brenda and Amelia scattered behind the tree, and the only place I could find was behind the tombstone. Oh God, that was the one time I hoped and prayed it wasn't haunted. I felt so...weird. Why were we hiding? That was certainly the most creepiest hiding place I'd ever come up with. At the sound of a stick snap, I turned to my left, only to come face to face with an older looking version of my brother in a military uniform. I screamed at the top of my lungs, and turned to my right to run, only to run into my brother. "Oh my God! Danny!" I caught my breath. He grabbed me by the shoulders, while Brenda and Amelia approached slowly. "Becky, calm down. What's wrong?" I looked around. "You didn't see him?" "See who?" He gave me a funny look. I shook my head and walked past him. "No one. How did you switch sides so fast?" He laughed. "You're going senile. Let's get you inside." I nodded slowly and followed, not saying a word the rest of the night. That was too odd to tell anyone about, so I would keep what I saw to myself for a long time. 


	3. Secrets and Lies

I opened my bedroom door, only to find Tina sitting in my desk chair. Amelia and Brenda had phoned their parents early, before breakfast, and I decided to let Tina sleep through. After all. I wasn't too happy with her, so letting her skip breakfast was the least I could do. "Finally decide to wake up?" I asked, as pleasantly as I could. She looked at me; her face emotionless. She didn't say anything. I cleared my throat and nodded, as if excepting her ignorance. "Ok, Tina," I said, more coolly. "You know, there's only one way that Danny could have known I was outside last night. He was asleep, and he can sleep through anything. It would take the damned Japanese bombing this place for him to wake up, and then he only would if we were lucky." She just looked down at the ground. "Becky, he deserves to know what you're doing." I laughed and fell down on my bed. "Ok, then. If he deserves so much to know what I'm doing, I think I should be able to deserve to know what I'm doing." She shook her head and glanced out my window. "It's not my place," She stood up, slowly. "Can I take a bath?" I grunted. "Sure. Just don't mind me if I stand outside the door to take watch and make sure no one gets in there with you." "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I smirked. "I'm sorry, Tina. But it seems to me, that you can confide alot more in Danny then you can in me, and that he can confide alot more in you than he can with me; his own sister." She smiled, almost devilishly. "You know what Becky?" I put the best look of question on my face. "Maybe you're right." With that, she walked out and shut the door. I sat there. What the hell? That little bitch. Ok, I was extremely mad at her right now. First, I find out that she told my brother where I was and at what time, risking me to get into some serious trouble with my parents. Second, I find out that she and my brother are confidons? Shoot. That's too weird, though. Because Danny will even tell you that the only people he confides anything in are me, Mama, and Rafe. Rafe? What the? Ok, another odd circumstance. Now, I realize I'm being slow. I'm a smart girl, but the teachers will even tell you it takes me a little while to get things. But, at any rate, if I'm not mistaken, I can't remember any instance where Danny has called Rafe "daddy" or "dad" or something. I did ask him why when I was about 8 and he was 12, and he told me that it was ok for boys to call their fathers by their first name. I believed him, up until now. With all of this other shit going on, that just didn't fit in. Ok, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. No more waiting, no more wondering. I would find out, even if it meant breaking my father's heart by going where he pleads most I not go.   
  
After writing down what I had, I closed my notebook and hid it under my matress. I jumped when the door opened, revealing Tina. "Sorry I scared you," She said, blankly. "I'll just get my things and leave now." I rubbed my face. "How are you getting home?" I choked out. I cleared my throat. I must be getting a cold. "Danny's taking me." I laughed. "Ok. Good luck getting him past my father with a car." She shook her head. "No, he's flying me." I raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh. "And my father was...ok with this?" She smirked. "After alot of yelling, yes." I laughed. "Ok, then. I'll pray for you." She rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Becky. He's a good flyer." I stood up. "Ok. But let me make one thing clear. Just because my father has been teaching him how to fly since he was 5, that doesn't make him good." She walked up to me and pointed a finger in my face. What was her problem? "You know what your problem is, Becky? Your problem is that if someone doesn't have your father's standards, they're just not good enough for you." I was amazed. The audacity she had to tell me...grrr. "Are you trying to tell me that I think my own brother is not good enough for me?" She backed down and eased toward the door, grabbing her bag on the way. "Oh, you might think your own brother is. But you don't think Danny is." With that, she turned and closed the door. Nevermind what she said. By tonight, I'd have it down. I'd know the truth, even if it did hurt me. I walked over to the window and watched Tina run to the plane and throw her stuff in. I then watched my father wave them off, and my brother flew the few miles down the road. I hoped they didn't die. I was afraid to get in the plane with him. He had asked me I don't know how many times to come up with him, but I refused. Hey, I wasn't the only one. My mother refused, too. But that was different. She just has a fear of flying or something, because she refused my father as well. I didn't do that. Daddy could take me up in a plane, and I'd feel nothing. No pressure, no fear, no guilt, no sadness. Not even happiness. Nothing. Just the wind in my face, and I liked it that way. Shaking my head free of any thought at all, other than the job I was about to do, I walked quietly into Danny's room. I was going to start here, then move on..to other places. Sighing, I moved instantly to the night stand. There was nothing unusual on the top. Just a watch, his sunglasses, and some dogtags. Wait. Dog tags? I looked down, to make sure I was wearing my father's. I was. So who's were those? I carefully picked up the metal bars and read their inscriptions. "Walker, Daniel J. 1st Lieutenant" And some other stuff like religion and SSN and blood type. Daniel J. Walker. My brother's name. Ok, there's a clue. I now know that the man buried in my back yard was a lieutenant, like my father. Only my father was promoted to Captain. I put the dog tags back where I found them, and proceeded to snoop around the room some more. I didn't find anything, so I carefully exited and walked down the stairs into the kitchen. Empty. Sighing, I walked on into the living room. My mother was sitting on the couch, going over what I saw as my father's medical chart. "Mama, where's Daddy?" She looked up, and I immediately saw that her face was tear streaked. What was she crying about this time? Surely to goodness, my father's medical chart wasn't THAT depressing. "He's outside working on something in the barn, honey." She wiped her face. "What's wrong, Mama?" she shook her head. "Nothing, Becky. Just go do whatever you were going to do." I nodded. "Yes, ma'am." I walked out of the living room into the kitchen, and as much as I hated to do it, I had no choice. From the kitchen, I didn't go upstairs or outside. I went into my father's office.  
  
I opened the door and quietly shut it, locking it behind me. There was so much stuff in here. File cabinets all over the place. There were pictures on his desk. I looked at them. A picture of him and my mother at their wedding. Hmm, odd. My mother seemed to be very pregnant in that picture. They never mentioned that she was pregnant before she got married. Oh well. A solo picture of my mother, what seems to be 19 or 20 years ago. God, I'm proud to admit atleast this. I have a tiny resemblence to her. That's enough. She was and still is beautiful. Hey, this is a cute picture. It was me and Danny. I looked about 2, him about 6. We were holding hands walking out in the field, toward the sunset, with our backs turned to the camera. I chuckled a little bit. If I got out of this alive, I was going to shoot my mother for putting me in those dresses. One of my brother, one of me, yada yada. Now the pictures were just boring school pictures. Wait, I take that back. There was one of my father, mother, and the mystery man. That Daniel Walker. Lordy, my mother wore alot of makeup. But, that's beside the point. I studied the man's face. Damn it to all hell, I could swear on anything that was my brother. While my mother and father's smiles were big, Daniel's was small. No teeth, almost as if he was shy. He had the same look in his eyes as my brother did in his. A look of wonder and excitement. That look in his eyes made any sort of shy smile on his face look outgoing. I looked around, almost expecting to see someone watching me, but when I saw no one, I turned back to the picture and took it out of the frame, praying the date was on the back. It was. January 17, 1941. Hmm. Deciding that really didn't help anything, I put the picture back into the frame. I then looked at the next picture. It was of my father and Daniel, standing infront of a P-40. They looked pretty dirty. Haha, my father looked really dorky in that hula shirt. And I then saw what Daniel was wearing. He was wearing the yellow shirt my brother wears every December 7th. Underneath it, I could see the dog tags. Deciding this could help me, I also took it out of the frame. I froze. The date on the back read none other than December 7, 1941. Pearl Harbor. My father had told me everything about WWII, but he never mentioned being at Pearl Harbor. And going by the dirt on them and the solemn looks in their faces, I knew that was where they were. Where else would you wear a flowered hula shirt than Hawaii? I put the picture back in the frame and decided that I'd better hurry. I walked over to the first set of filing cabinets, looking at their labels. "Farm, Daddy's Plane, Me, Evelyn" I don't think anything too incredibly interesting would be in there. I moved on. "Mother, Daddy, Kids, House" I shrugged and opened the drawer labeled "kids". Maybe? First was a folder with my name on it, then a folder with Danny's name. Just because I was curious, I opened my file. It had every school picture ever taken, my medical chart, my dental records, my report cards, my social security number, my school attendance. You know, things to that basic effect. Ah, my birth certificate. Not that I was doubting Danny being my brother or anything, but I was going to compare them. I read over mine.   
  
Last Name: McCawley  
First, Middle: Rebecca Lynn  
Legal Female Guardian: Johnson-McCawley, Evelyn Hope  
Legal Male Guardian: McCawley, Rafe Anthony  
Biological Mother: Johnson-McCawley, Evelyn Hope  
Biological Father: McCawley, Rafe Anthony  
Birthplace: Shelbyville, Tennessee  
  
Nothing unusual. I then placed in back in my file and removed Danny's from the cabinet. Some thing that was in mine. Pictures, report cards, etc. The only difference was there some flight logs. I flipped to the back where I found his birth certificate. I didn't really expect anything different on it, call me stupid.  
  
Last Name: Walker, Junior  
  
*Junior? What the hell?*  
  
First, Middle: Daniel James  
Legal Female Guardian: Johnson-McCawley, Evelyn Hope  
Legal Male Guardian: McCawley, Rafe Anthony  
Biological Mother: Johnson-McCawley, Evelyn Hope  
Biological Father: Walker, Daniel James  
Birthplace: Shelbyville, Tennessee  
  
I dropped the paper to the ground. This was just about stupid. Danny wasn't really my brother? Well, he was. But not exactly. I looked up, not knowing why. I didn't really know too much at this point. Why couldn't my family tell me this? Did they have to lie to me and keep it from me the whole time? It would've made things alot easier, had they said something. The picture on the wall caught my attention. It was a rather large headshot of Daniel. My brother's *father*. God, how was I so stupid? He looked just like him, had his dog tags, wore his clothing, and called my father Rafe. My word. Now I know why my mother cries. I even felt my self starting to cry. Now it had to go far beyond this Daniel Walker being my brother's father. I had to find out the inside story. Like what happened to him, who he was, how he met my parents. And most importantly, why he's buried in my back yard. But, those things would have to wait. I had to let them know I knew, first.  
  
I picked at my carrots instead of eating them. My mother cleared her throat. "I'm going in to town tomorrow if anyone wants to come with me," No one said anything. "Rafe has another doctor's appointment and I was going to go shopping while I was out." I still picked at my food, not saying a word. "But I thought he already went to the doctor just a few weeks ago." My mother looked at her plate. "He did, Danny. But, he has to go back." "Why?" Danny asked, his mouth half full. My parents looked at eachother. "I guess that would bring us to our next point." My father said, barely audible. My mother nodded. "I have some bad news for you," She said. "As you know--" I cut her off. "Look, before anything bad is told, I need to tell you guys something." "What is it, Becky?" I sighed and sat my fork down. My father was staring out the window. "Daddy?" He looked at me, almost as if he knew what I was going to say. "Listen to me," He nodded. Danny quit devouring his vegetables long enough to acknowledge me. "I've known there was something fishy going on here for a long time. And lately it's gotten so bad, it was inevitable for me to avoid it." My mother knew what I was saying, I could tell by the look on her face. "What?" Danny looked at me, no expression. I looked him in the eye. "I know who you are, Danny." He dropped his fork, and my mother spilled her water. My father just looked at me. "Who am I then, Becky?" Haha. Like he could get out of it. I looked down at my plate and closed my eyes. "Daniel Walker's son." His face turned white and he just sat back in his chair, pulling his sunglasses from his pocket. I then came to the conclusion that the green aviator sunglasses had once belonged to Daniel Walker. A tear slipped down my mother's cheek, and my father started to laugh like a madman. Now that was scary. "How the hell, Becky?" He finally stopped laughing enough to ask me that. "I had to know, Daddy. And no one would tell me, so I.." "You what?" I sighed. "I went into your office and looked through some stuff." My mother instantly stood up and ran outside, and Danny still just sat there. My father hit the table, knocking over my water as well. "Rebecca! You KNOW what I told you about going into my office!" I pushed my hair behind my ears. "I know, Daddy." "Why?" He was yelling. Danny was unphased. "Because I wanted to know, Daddy!" I felt my voice rising. He stood up and started pacing. "If we really wanted you to know, we would've told you!" "Daddy! Please! Why couldn't I know? And don't try to pull the 'it'd be too hard for you to understand' shit, because I understand more now than I did when I didn't know!" He just stood there, firmly looking at the ground. "Daddy, I'm sorry. But, please understand. It was my right to find out. I deserved to know. And to be quite frank with you, I'm hurt. Crushed. Not by finding out that he's not really my full blood brother, but that you guys kept this huge secret from me." He looked up at me, tears on the brim of his eyes. "Yeah, well, if you're so hurt then why don't you get out of my sight?" I nodded. "Gladly." I ran out of the kitchen and upstairs to my room. I was so mad. And hurt. And I felt betrayed. What was the point of that fight? I realize that I was a fool for going into his office and finding out secretly, but if I would've asked they would've denied it. Why was it such a big deal for me to know? But I didn't care about that. I was so livid, all I cared about was getting out of there. Out of the place where the only thing they wanted to tell me were lies; and keep the truth to themselves. So, I did the first thing that came to my mind. I got my suitcase down from my closet and began packing it. Though it was out of rage and not rational thinking, I was leaving. When they were sleeping, I'd get away.  
  
  
A/N: I don't know about birth certificates or anything like that, I just needed some kind of legal document and I don't know how they're written or anything, so, forgive me. It's not done yet, look for more.   



	4. Hitchin' a Ride

My watch read midnight. I was ready to go. My mother had tried to get me to unlock my door, but I wouldn't move. I felt kind of guilty. It was my father I was mad at, not her. What did she do? Well, beside lying to me, just as much as my father and my broth---Danny. I shook my head and opened my bedroom door, then quietly made it down the stairs. I looked at the living room as I opened the front door. I would be back, I hoped. Sighing, I walked outside and quietly shut the door. My suitcase was light. I had about 2 shirts and some pedal pushers, I think. Maybe even 1 shirt. Who knows? Hopefully, I wouldn't need them. I then began to approach the grave. I was coming through the backyard to avoid the slight possibility of getting caught by the parentals. Just as I got to the headstone, I gave it a glance. Now I knew who he was. Kind of. He was my brother's father, and that was enough for me. Enough for me to love him, and enoguh for me to hate him.   
  
I was almost past the headstone, when someone jumped out and grabbed me by the arm. I looked up and saw Daniel Walker, sunglasses and all. I screamed, again at the top of my lungs. "Becky!" I kept screaming. "Becky! Sssshh! It's just me!" I stopped screaming long enough to see that it wasn't infact a ghost, but only Danny. He didn't let go of my arm. "Are the little things going to start scarring you for life, now?" He pulled my arm away, harshly. "You know what? It's midnight, Danny. There aren't very many sun rays that I can see," He kept the solemn look on his face, and slowly removed the glasses. I then saw that he had been crying. I seriously needed to call CBS. Danny Walker just didn't cry. Forget that, Rebecca. You've got to get on the road. "So, why are you out here this time of night?" I asked. He shrugged and propped himself up on the headstone. "Just talking to the old man." I smiled a little. "You do that every night?" He nodded and looked at the ground. I laughed. "So that's why you come out here." He grinned a little and nodded. He then looked up at me. "So, where are you going?" He asked, motioning to my bag. I shrugged. "I don't know. Where ever I can hitch hike to." His eyes studied me; hard. "Rebecca, no." "Rebecca, yes." I answered, not meaning to sound like such a bitch. "I can't let you go." He said, nut budging from the headstone. "How do you think you can stop me?" I said, starting to walk away. He grabbed my arm. "This is stupid, Becky. There's no need to run away. No one is mad at you." "Except the man I love most." I answered, feeling the tears brim my eyes. Danny looked down, but his grip on my arm didn't change. "Yeah, and what am I supposed to tell him when they say they found you dead on the side of the road? He'd be a little mad at me, then. For letting you go." I jerked my arm away and starting backing up. "Maybe you can lie, Danny. You, like him and Mama, are good at it. Put it to some more use." I turned around and started running, not once turning back to acknowledge his pleas.   
  
It was 4 AM. I had been walking down the dirt road for 4 hours, and I had no clue where I was. Fear was the one emotion that consumed me. Why had I left? I admit it. I was being immature. I should've listened to Danny. But, nooo. Had to be stubborn. Had to have it my way. I'm sure he's told my parents by now and my mother is going into convulsions and my father is kicking himself in the face for yelling at me. Oh my God, I just got a pang of joy out of that thought. The thought of my father kicking himself over being harsh to me. Damn it, I was so selfish. I messed up, too. Well, really I didn't. But, maybe I did. In my own weird way. AAAAAHHH. Screw all of this. A car comes. Should I get a ride?  
  
"Where ya headed?" I looked at the old woman in the driver's seat. She looked about 50, and sweet enough. "Where ever you are." She nodded and opened the passenger door. I walked around and threw my bags in, getting in the car. She didn't hesitate to pull away at that moment. After about 5 minutes of just staring at the dark trees, I spoke. "So, where are we headed?" "Nashville." I nodded. "Oh." Well, this was awkward. "What's your name, missy?" The old woman asked. I coughed. "Rebecca. Rebecca McCawley." She nodded. "McCawley, eh?" I nodded. "That man. Allen McCawley, I believe. I used to know him. He was a good man. Did you know him?" I nodded, again. "Yes, ma'am. He was my grandfather." She chuckled. "You's Rafe's girl then, ain't ya?" I nodded, almost shyly. Almost as if I was ashamed. Why the hell would I be ashamed? My father was the greatest man to walk the planet. "Why in the sam hill you running away, then?" I shrugged. "Family fued, I guess." She nodded. "Well, Rebecca. Let me tell you. I never did meet that Rafe, only when he was little. I met him and his friend one time," She laughed. I then came to the conclusion that she was mroe reminiscing to herself, rather than telling it for my use. "Them boys. They were inseperable. They would all the time run around with toy planes, then when they got old enough they'd build them some fake ones. Danny Walker, was his name I believe. Cole Walker's boy," I froze. Even if she wasn't talking to me now, I was going to listen. "That man was nothing but a drunk, I'll tell ya. Beating up on his boy and wife, til one day his wife finally died. Couldn't take much more, I'm a guessing. Oh, anyway, Rebecca. Your daddy's a good man, from what I hear. Did a great thing over at Pearl Harbor in 1941, and was part of that Doolittle Raid," My father had never mentioned that, either. "Danny went on that Raid too, so I hear. Was the death of him. Sad, sad thing. The town cried for weeks." Ok, so Daniel was there, too. That's how he died. I'm defenitely going to find a library as soon as I get to Nashville. "Um, mind if I ask your name?" I asked. "Oh, sorry, hun. Paula Neely." I smiled. "Thanks for the ride, Ms. Neely," She nodded. "Where do you live now?" "Oh, the family moved out of Shelby a while ago. Living in Winchester, now," I nodded. Shoot, this woman knew so much town gossip I figured she was from out of area now. She would know about my brother, surely. "So tell me, Rebecca. Rafe got any more children besides you?" I smiled and shook my head. "Nope, just me." She chuckled. "You're the only pride and joy, huh?" My smile faded, but I immediately put on a fake one. "Yeah, I guess so." Ouch. Pain. 


	5. Back Home

I walked into the library. Ms. Neely had dropped me off, and then went to where it was she was going. I was on my own from here. God, I'm stupid. But, oh well. Better do what you came here to do. I walked up to the counter, where the floozy looking librarian was reading. I rested my elbows on the counter. She raised her eyes and just looked at me. "Can I help you?" She asked, some what snottily. "I'd like to see everything you have on Jimmy Doolittle's Raid on Tokyo in 1942." She didn't budge. "I didn't think anyone in today's society cared about that raid." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well. I do, and I want to see some information on it today, please." She grunted and stood up, walking over to a bookshelf.   
  
I sat myself down at a table, ready to take on whatever she brought me. She then placed 2 books and a newspaper infront of me. "You wouldn't happen to have any newspapers from Shelbyville, would you?" She rolled her eyes and walked over to a newspaper spinner. Grabbing the paper, she walked back over to where I was seated and placed it infront of me. "You got lucky. Anything else?" I shook my head. "No, thank you." "Yeah." She said, walking back to her counter. I shook my head and sighed, focusing on what she brought me. This was going to take a while.  
  
2 books, 2 newspapers, and 6 hours later, I had accomplished my mission. Daniel was 23 when his plane crashed, and he was later shot by a Japanese soldier. He died, obviously. It didn't say anything to his personal effects, but the Shelbyville paper had stated that he had lived with my father and grandfather for 6 years after his father died, until he and my father enlisted in the Military. I guess I'd have to brave it and ask my parents anything else I wanted to know. Sighing, I closed the books and gathered my bag. I then just walked out onto the street. It was 10 PM. Let me tell you, down town Nashville is creepy at night. Bars, drunks, more bars, more drunks. Why the hell did I leave? I am so stupid. Shit. I looked up at the clouds, the rain starting to pour down on my face. Down town Nashville at night, it's raining, and I have no place to go. God, help me.  
  
I finally just gave up and sat down next to a brick building. I had too many drunk, old men throwing themselves at me. I was soaked. I was cold. I wanted to go home. Oh shit, a car's stopping. Probably some old man wanted a one night stand. I looked closer, as the driver rolled his window down. As if all of my prayers had been answered, I was going home. It was Danny.  
  
The first part of the ride was quiet. But, there was plenty of time to talk. The drive would be many hours. I finally spoke. "So, why'd you do it?" He shrugged. "Because I was worried about you." I kept my eyes focused straight ahead. "How'd you know I'd be in Nashville?' He looked at me and smiled, almost as if he was amused. "Because your driver called the house and said she'd dropped you off at the library," My eyed widened. "Better be careful who you tell your name to, Becky." I sighed. "How'd you get a car past Daddy?" He laughed. "I'm going to get the shit kicked out of me when we get home." "You snuck out?" He laughed and nodded. I laughed, too. "Listen, Becky. I want you to know something," I looked at him. "I haven't always called Rafe Rafe, you know." "What do you mean?" He shrugged. "I used to call him Daddy." I almost laughed. "Why?" He looked at me. "Because they lied to me, too." "Yeah, but they did tell you." He nodded. "Yes, they did. But, I'm sure they would've waited alot longer had I not been as curious as I was," I didn't say anything. "Listen, Becky. Mama told me something about Rafe this morning. It's not so easy to say." I lowered my eyes. "What?" Danny sighed. "He's sick, Becky." I shut my eyes. "What do you mean by sick, Danny?" He gulped. "By sick, I mean.." I shook my head, and let my voice rise. "Mean what?!" He jumped. "Cancer, Becky. Your dad has cancer." I kept my eyes shut, letting what he had said register. He was lying. But why would he do that? Damn it all to hell. Why my father? Why him? He didn't deserve it. If anyone did, it was me. I was the snot in this nose. I forced my self to speak. "How long, Danny?" He sighed. "2 months. 3, at the most." I gripped the seat. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at ALL.  
  
I walked up the wooden stairs as alowly as I could. My mother was glad to see me. I was surprised that she didn't condemn me or something. I hadn't seen my father yet. I didn't know how to face him. But, I guess I would have to. So, that's where I was going. Up to his room, where he was just looking out the window. Sighing, I pushed the door open. 'Daddy?" He turned around, not saying anything to me. I walked over to him, slowly. "Daddy, I'm sorry," I said. "I was acting stupid. I never should have done that." He nodded, turning back around to the window. "Damn right." I squeezed his shoulder. "Daddy, don't be mad, please." He lifted his arm and rubbed my hand. "Oh, honey. I'm not mad." "Promise?" He looked up at me and smiled. "Come here," He said, motioning for me to sit in his lap. I did. "I promise." I smiled. "What are you doing up here?" He sighed. "Watching him." I looked out the window, only to see my brother and my mother walking around on the field. "Sure you're not watching her?" I asked, trying to make a lame joke. He smiled. "You know, when people come up to me and say that he's just like his father, I get so jealous," I gave him a questioning look. "Not because of..that, but because I wish I could be as good of a man as Danny Walker was." I smiled. "But, you can't get jealous when they say that to you and they're talking 'bout me." He laughed a little. "Yeah, but honey, they never say that to me. They all think you're like your mother." I almost laughed. "What?" "No, no. It's ok. That's exactly what I wanted, for both of you." "Daddy, what are you--?" "I lived my life, and I got what I wanted. All I ever wanted was for him to turn out like his father, and you to turn out like your mother." I smiled. I loved my dad. Even if he did think I was like my mother, because I didn't think I was. Except when it came to over reacting. Hmm, oh well. "Daddy?" "Hmm?" "Are you scared?" He turned his head to look at me. "Of what, honey?" I looked down, then back up at him. "I know you're sick." He smiled weakly. "No, sweetie. I'm not scared." "Why not?" He sighed. "Because. I got you raised up, I got him raised up. Your mother will be ok, too. And, I'll get to see Danny again." I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "But what am I supposed to do without you?" He smiled his handsome smile at me. "Rebecca, you'll be ok. You're strong; like your mother," Good God. I WAS NOT LIKE HER!! Maybe I got so mad because I didn't want to be like her, I wanted to be like him. "And you know that I'll still be there with you, and Danny. And your mother. I always will. Hell, I might even have the older Danny come with me sometimes." I laughed a little and hugged him. "But we have a lot of time, right?" He smiled and nodded. "How ever much time you want, you got." I laughed and broke away from him. "Daddy, tell me about Danny." He sighed. "Everything?" I nodded. "Everything." He nodded. "Ok, then. I met him when I was about 4..."  
  
A/N: I realize this chapter was kind of choppy and dumb, but I'm in a rush. If I ever find time, I'll revise it. this isn't the end, and Rafe isn't jsut going to die...lol. he'll still be around for a while. and though it sounds kind of stupid, it's neccesary that he die in this fic. you'll get why in later chapters...bye! 


	6. The American Way: Lesson 1; Learning How...

I walked through the school hallway, with nothing on my mind except how badly I didn't want it to be Monday. I hated Mondays with a passion, because you had the entire week to look ahead at. It was horrible. Keeping my head up, I walked into my History class. My first class of the day, and I hated it. Maybe if the teacher wasn't so boring, it might actually be neat. I walked to my desk, sneaking a look at Tina on my way. I don't think she saw me. She was my best friend, but for some reason, I didn't like the fact that she had a bond with Danny. I don't know how far they took that bond or what they said to eachother or how they felt, but I didn't like it. She had known about Danny's father. SHE HAD. A complete stranger to him! I was his flesh and blood! Well, kind of. Half way. At any rate, I was pissed off at her, so I stopped thinking about her and started to think about Daniel. My father said that only my mother could tell me the stories of her and Daniel. My father was referring to him as Danny, but it would confuse me, so I still call him Daniel, and will til the day I die. My thoughts were broken as Mr. Curtis entered the room, immediately starting to ramble. "Open your notebooks. You're going to take notes on the Holocaust." I sighed and did as he said.  
  
I sat my books and bag down at the lunch table infront of Brenda and Amelia, who were already eating. "Hello, McCawley." Brenda said. "Hello, Robinson." "Aren't you gonna eat?" I looked up at Amelia. "Naw, not hungry today, ladies." They both shrugged and began eating their food once more. I sighed and opened my Holocaust book. I had a test tomorrow and they weren't offering much conversation, so why not? I was trying to read, but all I could concentrate on was the constant sound of chewing. Eew. That is, until another figure sat down beside me. Tina. I glared and smiled, coldly. "Hi." She offered the same. "Hi," I hated being such a jealous person. I really didn't want to feel this way toward her, but what else could I do? "So, I'm assuming you found out?" I nodded, not taking my eyes off of the book. She laughed. "Shcoking, isn't it?" I moved my glance towards her. "What?" "He's not even your real brother. Who would've thought?" Brenda and Amelia casually looked up from their food, but then returned to it. "Tina, I'd appreciate it if--" "All I'm going to say is this: thank God I don't have a family like yours." I shut my book. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Before she could answer, Danny sat down on the other side of me. "Hey, Becky? Do you think that if I asked him, Rafe would come in and talk to my history class?" I shrugged. "I don't know, maybe. Why?" "Because we're learning about the Doolittle Raid, and so I thought that maybe--" He was cut off by Tina, who was clearing her throat. I rolled my eyes and looked at her, as if asking her what she wanted. "Danny?" "Yeah?" "Aren't you going to sit over here?" She asked, sounding like a snob. He shrugged and shook his head. "Nope, have no reason," She glared at me, while Brenda and Amelia were trying not to laugh. "So, anyway. I thought that maybe he could come talk to my class or something." I nodded. "He probably wi--" Tina stood up, and began to purposely talk loud, meaning for the entire cafeteria to hear her. "AS I was saying, I would hate to live with your family, BECKY MCCAWLEY," I shut my eyes. "Simply because, I *know* there has to be some weird happening with your dad. After all, to have lost his best friend to the Japanese, must be tough. Must have scarred him life. His shit must have leaked out to you, because you're anything but stable." I opened my eyes, to see Brenda and Amelia giving me an odd look. "Hey, uh, Tina? You want to shut up now?" Danny asked. She ignored him. "And growing up with a mother like that. Neither of her children have the same father, ladies and gentlemen," The kids in the cafeteria started snickering. Brenda and Amelia just gawked at Danny and I. "Better make sure your fathers are where they're supposed to be tonight. Better make sure they don't succomb to that floozy." That was it. She called my mother a floozy. That BITCH. I stood up as fast as I could and punched the living shit out of her. She stood up and looked at me, her nose bleeding. "You wanna say anything else about my mother?" Without a word, she punched me across the face. It stung, but I was gonna hit her again. Until Danny stepped infront of me. "Tina, come on. Both of you. This is bullshit!" The kids were cheering us on now. Tina pushed him out of the way and slugged me down again, but not before I got one good claw at her face. Eew, there was skin in my red nails now. "McCawley, Donner! Stop this instant!" I looked up to see the Principal walking towards us. I was in for it. But, hey. It was worth it.   
  
"...and I mean, that's just not fair. So, I hit her." I sat in the kitchen chair, holding an ice pack to my bruising cheek while telling my parents the story. My father paced, snickering. "Rebecca, I'm going to tell you something that was said to me," I kept my fasce focused on the wall, but my eyes were on him. "That's BULLSHIT," I jumped. Did he really have to scream in my ear. Then he started laughing. Ok, I now know my family is crazy. "But, it's good bullshit." "Um, yes, sir." I stuttered. What was I supposed to say to that? He then shook his head. "Nevermind this little thing. How would you like to come flying?" I gave him an odd look. "But Daddy, I thought the doctor told you not to fly anymore." He laughed and smiled at me. "Since when do I lsiten to those damned medical 'experts', Rebecca?" I smiled and looked down. This man was so awesome. My mother just shot him an evil glare. She was a nurse, a medical "expert"; she was allowed.   
  
I looked at the clouds, as they circled around me. Still so close to earth, yet so far away. Like I said, I feel nothing when I'm in a plane. It was gorgeous scenery. The clouds, the sunset, the farm...it was great. I realized that this would [probably be the last flight I would ever take with my father, so I cherished it. Every single minute until the second we landed, I used for something.   
  
  
  
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a/n: not the end...sorry if this has gotten cheesy, and sorry it took so lnog to update..i was out of town. 


	7. Suspension

I hopped down the stairs in my pedal pusher jeans and one of my dad's button up flannels. Yes, I realize I had no style back then. Still don't, for that matter. But, anyways. I glanced in the mirror on the way down, smirking at my bruised cheek. I had been suspended for a day, so I was at home instead of at school. I sighed. My mother was out in the field with my father, doing God only knows what. Probably just staring at Daniel's grave, as they now admitted to doing alot. Shaking my head, I walked into the kitchen. Grabbing an apple, I looked out the window, seeing my parents not at Daniel's grave, but walking amongst the corn field. I smiled. My parents loved eachother so much. That really made me wonder where Daniel came in. Who loved whom in that situation? I could only wonder...although, I would ask my mother, some day. Someday...after my father had passed. His time was becoming shorter, and my mother wanted to think of only him. I then turned around, hearing a knock at the door.  
  
I practically jumped over the couch trying to get to the door before the person left. I opened it hastilly, only to see Tina standing there. I immediately started to shut the door in her face, but she stopped it. "I need to see Danny." I looked at her coolly. "He's at school, halfwit." She smirked and shook her head, pushing the door open and walking in. "No, he's not." She started up the stairs. I stormed up after her. "Hey! You can't just barge into my house like this! This is trespassing, Tina!" Before she could answer, she pushed the door open to Danny's room, revealing him laying on the bed. He immediately jumped up. "Tina, Becky. Hi." I glared at both of them. "Nice to know you were here, Danny. I'll leave you too alone." I said, closing the door behind me. But, hey. I could always sit outside and listen to them, right?  
  
"Danny, what's wrong? Why the hostility?" I heard him grunt. "What's wrong? Tina, I told you. I want you to leave me alone. Leave my sister alone, too." "But Danny, why?" He almost laughed. "Why? You come in here one night, talk me into getting drunk with Rafe's beer, which he did account for by the way, and then not only do I get out of my right mind drunk and sleep with you, I tell you things about my family that you weren't supposed to know," So *that's* how she found out. I sighed. I felt a little better. But, hey. She still had the audacity to get him drunk. "And then you say stuff about Rafe and mother mother. And now, you follow me around..like we're an item or something. Like this is..something special." I heard her sigh. "Oh, but Danny, it is. I love you," Pause. A long one. "I'll always love you." He grunted. "Yeah, ok. You can follow me around like a sick puppy dog and tell me that all you want, but don't expect much of a reponse." I heard footsteps walking towards the door, so I got up and ran to my room as quickly as I could. As soon as I shut the door, Danny opened his. "Danny, what are you doing?" "Get out of here, Tina. No one wants to see you." He slammed his door, and I smiled as I heard Tina go downstairs and slam the front one.   
  
A/N: kinda short, but, that's ok. 


	8. Those Damned Medical Experts

I stood up and walked out of my room, straightening my shirt out as I knocked on Danny's door. "Danny, it's me," I said. I hated my Southern accent. It sounded so stupid. My mother didn't have one, why did I? Oh well, that has nothing to do with anything, so let's forget about it. Danny opened his door, slowly. I walked in and shut it behind me. He sat down in his chair next to the window. I cleared my throat. "So, why are you home today?" He shrugged. "Mama and Rafe don't know. Keep the hole in your face shut, if you can." I smiled a little. "So, what did Tina want?" He grinned a little. "Don't pull that shit, Becky. I know you were outside my door." I narrowed my eyes. He turned around and looked me in the eye. "I'm glad you were. I wanted you to hear that." I sat down on his bed. "So, what does all of it mean?" He turned the chair around, as to not strain his neck, I suppose. "Huh?" "I mean, explain it to me." He laughed a little and rubbed his face. "Your friend's two faced, Becky." I nodded. "I figured as much." "Anyway. Remember one night about 6 months ago...when Tina was stuck here during the snow storm?" I nodded. "Well, you were sleeping. I think. Hell, she probably knocked you out. Anyway, you were occupied, and so I'm trying to go to sleep when she comes in my room. At first we just kinda talked about stupid stuff..you know, the weather, how cold it was, etcetera. Then she asks me if I want to play Truth or Dare. I just kind of laugh, you know, and say sure. It was a funny/cute game at first, until she dared me to get drunk. I kept telling her no, but she kept saying stuff about how if I didn't drink too much I'd be sober by morning time. I eventually gave in. Something about the way she asked me...I don't know. I couldn't say no to her, you know? Anyway, I went downstairs and got 4 of Rafe's beers," He laughed and smacked his face. "Considering it was a 6 bottle pack, he only noticed cause he went from full pack to 2 left. But, anyway, i get drunk enough and she starts asking me things,and I answer her. That's how she found out about my daddy, Becky. I didn't just..tell her. I couldn't tell her without telling you, and you know that. Then, after that, you can figure ouit yourself," I shook my head. Calling my mother a floozy? That girl needs to look in the mirror. "Then the next day, Rafe accounted for his alcohol and when I tried to tell him she did it to me, he kept telling me not to blame my actions on other people. I guess he was right, but still...I just don't know. Put me out on the farm, in the snow, for a week. That was defeniely hell frozen over." I laughed at his pun. I didn't realize how well I listened to my brother talk, even if he was telling me something like this. He was about to open his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted. "BECKY! YOUR FATHER PASSED OUT, CALL AN AMBULANCE!!!" "Shit." Was all Danny said before jumping up out of his chair and bolting down the stairs. I just sat there and closed my eyes. Earth was coming down around me.  
  
I paced the hospital halls, looking in on my father every now and then as I passed his room. He was so pale. And hooked up to so much stuff...I felt so helpless. And sorry for him. Deciding I couldn't see my father like that, I walked back to where Danny and my mother were talking to the doctor. I stopped before going around the corner...it was the doctor's order that I walked around instead of listening, but Rafe was my daddy and I had a right to know. So, I was going to eavesdrop. I was good at it.   
  
"Because of the cancer in his lungs, he was suffer from shortness of breath." I heard my mother muffle an understanding "mmm hmm." "The shortness of breath will result in lack of air getting to the brain, which will cause him to pass out if he over exerts himself." "But, he wasn't over exerting himself at all, doctor. He was just walking!" My mother protested. "Well, Mrs. McCawley, I guess there's your answer. He needs to remain seated at all times," What the hell? "We'll order a wheel chair for you so that he can move among your property." I peaked my head around the corner and saw the doctor walking away, and Danny holding my mother as she quietly cried.   
  
**Almost 3 months later; December 7th, 1960**  
  
I walked with my mother and brother around the field, as we did always did on this day. I, weearing a simple black dress as was my mother, and Danny with his torn and battered yellow shirt that Daniel wore on this date 19 years ago. It was strange, though. We visited Daniel's grave this time. I guess we could now, since I knew. But my father wasn't there. He was in a white, sterile hospital room with bare walls. He was probably going insane staring at the same white spot, while we walked among the fields and prayed God keep the souls of those who died at Pearl Harbor, while fighting for our country. Daniel didn't die at Pearl Harbor, but he did enough service to get a visit.   
  
We approached the grave slowly; my mother ahead of Danny and me. She knelt down at the stone structure, running her fingers over the inscribed writing. "Daniel J. Walker: Born June 2, 1918-Died April 18, 1942. A Hero in War, a Brother, and a Father: May you soar above the sky forever." I eyed Danny. He did nothing but concentrate as hard as he could on the monument. I then looked at my mother. She was still knelt, and held her palm hard against the writing. She was showing no emotion that I could see, until a single tear fell down her cheek. "You know," I kind of jumped at my mother's voice. It was deathly quiet. "It's kind of hard to believe that just 19 short years ago today..I was with him. I saw him, I talked to him. I touched him. I took blood from him," She then raised her head to look at Danny, her hair blowing in the wind. "And I loved him."   
  
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I watched my mother scramble around the kitchen for dinner. "Why the hurry, Mama?" She didn't look at me. "I just got a call from the hospital. They've paid for me a train ticket to Nashville that leaves in a couple of hours." I sat down at the table. "Why?" Shr turned around and hastily sat 3 plates on the table. "Because, Becky. They're saying your father doesn't have much more than a week, and I need to go buy the funeral supplies and such." She sniffled and sat down. "Mama, I know this probably isn't the best time to ask," She pulled the fork up to her mouth and looked at me. "But will you tell me about Daniel?" She chewed her food and wiped her mouth. "Some day, sweetie. Not now," I nodded. "Get your brother. I'm going to drop you too off at the hospital and say bye to Rafe before I leave." I nodded and walked up to the stiars, calling Danny down for dinner.  
  
I was sitting in the hospital chair reading a magazine while Danny just stared out the window. My father slept. My mother had come in and kissed him bye, telling him she'd be back in a couple of days. He agreed and said something about not coming to see him off, but she just smiled and kissed him again. That time she left. It was quite...sweet. If, you can even use that word for it. I noticed my dad was kind of shaking, so I put6 my magazine down and walked over to him. He grabbed the edge of my shirt. "Rebecca.." "I'm here, Daddy." Danny turned around and looked to see what was happening. "The Farm...the Farm..I must see..the Farm.." He repeated, hoarsely. I looked up at danny and gave him a look. "What is he talking about?" "He wants to go home. He wants to get out of here." I then realized. My father wanted to die in the comfort of the place where he was born and raised, and where his children were born and raised. I sighed and pulled my shirt away from his grasp, walking out of the room. "Danny," I said, turning back around. "Talk to him." Danny nodded and I walked out. I walked over to the nurses station. She smiled sweetly and looked up. "Hi, ma'am. I need to talk to someone about getting Rafe McCawley out of here." Her smile faded and she shook her head. "I'm sorry, hon. But do you know how sick he is?' I nodded, fiercely. "Yes. He does too, he wants to go home." She shook her head again. "I'm sorry again, hon. But I can't do it. Just go back on in that room and sit down til your mother comes back." I nodded slowly and started to walk away, when I decided that I wasn't going to take no for an answer. My father wanted it, and he was going to get it. I stormed back to the desk and slammed my hand on the counter. "Ma'am, I'm not gonna be like my brother," She gave me a confused look. "I'm not gonna live the rest of my life knowing that my daddy died in a cold, foreign place where he didn't know anybody or anything. So, I'm not asking ya, I'm tellin' ya," She began to shake her head. "Look, you damned medical expert. You get him in a vehicle and get him to his farm, or I will raise hell. And believe me," I smirked. The same smirk my father had often found on his face. "I will do it." The nurse nodded slowly--defeatedly--and picked up the phone to call transportation services.  
  



	9. She loves you, She hates you...She loves...

I walked solemnly to the grave. The grave of my brother's father. The grave of the man my father called his brother. The grave of the man my mother once loved and will always hold dear to her. Danny sat inside with my father, while we waited on my mother to get back. She was 2 hours late. I knew my father would be going any time, and I needed to settle something with Daniel before my father was buried right beside him and would listen to the conversation. Hell, he did it to me when I would be on the phone with one of MY friends...why wouldn't he do it when I was talking to his best friend? Shaking my head, I sat down infront of the stone. Sighing, I lifted my gaze to the inscription. Here goes.   
  
"You know, I've never really talked to a piece of rock before," I said, looking at the monument as if I was expecting some sort of response. "But then again, I don't think my intent is for the rock to hear me. I was hoping that Daniel Walker would hear me. Anyway, I uh...I just wanted to say that my daddy, Rafe, is probably coming to be with you soon. You better watch over him, I'm tellin' ya. But then, there's also something else you need to know," I kept staring at the stone. "I want you to know how much I hate you. You left my mother when she probably needed you most, even when my father tried to refrain you from it. I realize that you didn't know of your son, but still. Couldn't you have listened? Did you have to be so anxious to be a hero?" I snickered and wiped a tear away. "Did you have to be so anxious to be like my father? I hate you so much, Walker. You make my mother cry. You make my father cry. You make your own damn son cry, and he didn't even know you," I wiped another tear, and they started to flow more rapidly. "And damn it to all hell, you're making me cry now, and I am not even related to you in any shape or form. But, then I also want you to know how much," I paused. I don't know why. "I love you. I want you to know that I look up to you, and you have given me so much; that so much being my brother, Danny. He's your son, but he's also my brother. He is the best friend I'll ever have, even if he did lie right through his teeth to me. I can go to him any time I need to. And according to my father and my mother, he is just like you. Let me just say, Daniel Walker, that if you were like he is..I don't know what to say. You also brought my father home. You put yourself in the line of that bullet so that he could live, and he did. He came home to my mother and your son. He took care of them, and took care of me when I came along. I love you for that," I wiped another tear away and stood up, placing my hands on the top of the headstone. "You won, Walker."  
  
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I walked in to the kitchen and sat down, picking up a banana from the bowl. "REBECCA!" I nearly jumped. Standing up as fast as I could, I ran up to the room where my father was set up. Danny was standing right outside the door. "What the hell is it?" He smiled, lightly. "He's going," The color drained from my face. "Any minute now. You better get in there." I looked down and nodded slowly, while Danny patted me on the back lightly and pushed me in the room, shutting the door behind me. I looked behind at the closed door, then proceeded to the chair next to my father's bed. His eyes were closed. No, don't tell me..."Rebecca...?" Thank God. I felt my tears coming on. "Yea, Daddy?" His eyes opened. The brown eyes that had seen so much, and that I had come to love. He smiled weakly. "Give me your hand," He said, hoarsely. I laid it on the bed, slowly. He rubbed it. "Where is Evelyn?" I cleared my throat. "She's in Nashville, Daddy. She should be back any minute." Damn it, where are you Mama? "Just tell her that I love her. Will you please?" I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I nodded. "Yes, Daddy. I'll tell her." He nodded, slowly. He then painfully raised his hand to my cheek. His hands were so cold. I shivered a little bit. "I love you, Rebecca." I let my tears fall and started shaking my head. "Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit." He got that excited look on his face. "Oh, don't be shittin' me now." I laughed as much as I could, which was not alot at all. "Can't you wait for Mama, Daddy?" He shook his head. "No, honey. I have to go now." I shook my head, now blatently crying. "Daddy, don't. Please, no..." He smiled and rubbed my cheek. "You're so beautiful...just like your mother," I shook my head. No, God. Please, no. Why him? "I love you, Rebecca." He then closed his eyes and his breathing got slower, the only sign of his life was his hand still rubbing my cheek lightly. "Daddy! No, Daddy! I love you!!! Daddy, please!!" The rubbing then stopped. I looked down, and he wasn't breathing at all. My eyes wide, I felt for a pulse. There was none. My breathing almost stopped, I carefully placed his hand back on the bed and stood up. I walked around the room in a haze, not really knowing where I was. Only knowing that my father, Rafe McCawley, was laying on a bed a couple of feet away dead. Dead. My father was dead. Shaking my head and taking it into my hands, I let out a blood curling scream.  
  
45 minutes. It had been 45 minutes since my Daddy died, and my mother still wasn't home. 3 hours late. That's pathetic. I had more sense, kind of. My knees buckled when I screamed, so I had to sit down in the chair next to the window and stay there. I could think a little...but not much. Only that the best man on the Earth had passed. He had gone on to a different world. He had gone to be with his parents, his friends, and his best friend. He left his family for them. My hazy thoughts were interrupted by a cab pulling up. Then the door opened, and she stepped out. My mother; the woman who had no idea what had happened while she was gone.  
  
I opened the door and walked out of the room, my legs feeling mooshy. "I'M HOME! WHERE IS EVERYBODY?" Damn it, woman. I'm coming as fast as I can. If she screamed any louder, she could've woke the dead. Hey, not a bad concept. Maybe she could wake my father. Pressing my hand against the wall for support, I made my way down the stairs and stopped at the bottom. My mother turned around and saw me. She smiled. "Hi, honey. Where's your brother?" I didn't say anything. Her smile stayed. "How's your Daddy?" I still didn't say anything, but this time a tear slipped down my cheek. I then started gasping for air, my tears falling harder. My mother's smile faded, and she half walked half ran over to me. Her eyes gazed deep into mine, and I knew what she was asking me. I nodded, more tears falling now. She closed her eyes and pulled me close to her; and for the first time in a long time, my mother mourned the death of the man she loved.  
  



	10. "..I looked down at that coffin, and it ...

I rolled my eyes and threw the covers off. What was the fucking point? My father had died earlier that after noon, and I was trying to sleep? Where did I get the idea that I would ever do that? I walked down the hallway quietly, even thgough I knew my brother was awake and so was my mother. I don't think any of us were sleeping. I stopped, however, when I saw the light on in my father's office. I opened the door slowly, seeing my mother sitting at the desk, crying over a picture. I cleared my throat and stepped in, closing the door behind me. She wiped her face and looked at me, offering a weak smile. "You couldn't sleep either?" She asked me. Dumb question. "No," I answered. "Can Danny?" She shook her head and picked up a coffee cup, taking a sip. "No, he was down here a little while ago. He went outside to see his father, I suppose." I smiled a little and walked over to my mother, rubbing her back. I then glanced at the picture she was holding, it was one of my father, Danny, and myself all on the plane; My father holding the 5 year old me next to the wing and the 9 year old Danny in the pilot's seat. I smirked a little. I actually kind of remember that being taken. Sighing, I pulled a chair up and sat next to my mother. She took another sip of coffee and started laughing. "What?" I asked. She regained her composure, and a tear slipped down the cheek. "Mama, what is it?" "He told me not to come see him off, and this is the one time I really didn't." She smiled weakly at me, while I just rubbed her shoulder and cried with her.  
  
I laughed at the story my mother had just told me. We had found enough in us to tell eachother some stories about my father. She told me the one about how they met. Oh my Lord...my father was dumb. But hey, isn't every guy? "And then, there was the first time he died," I gave her a puzzled look. She stiffled a tiny laugh and pushed a hair from her face. "Remember how he used to tell yo of fighting over in Britain with the Eagle Squadron?" I nodded. "Well, there is a back story to tha." I nodded. "Tell me." She nodded and continued. "Well, after fighting for a few months, he was shot down into the ocean. They never found his body, so he was presumed to be dead," I gave her another puzzled look, as if I was questioning her honesty, and she could obviously tell. She nodded. "It's true. Anyway, he had told Danny that if anything happened to him, Danny would be the one he wanted to tell me." I opened my eyes, wide. "Mom..." She nodded. "Yes, honey. i'm going to tell you about Danny now." I smiled weakly and looked down. Whatever she wanted to do...  
  
"...I looked down at that coffin, and it just hit me. I really did love him with everything. I loved your father, too. But Danny was so...captivating. I loved him with everything, and he was gone. He had gone just as quickly as he had come. So then, I grabbed your father and clung to him while I cried. It would help me, since Danny wasn't there to say 'everything's going to be alright' to me anymore," She paused and took a breath. "Then we walked out, and he got permission to bring him to the farm, and not too long after that I gave birth to your brother. I watched your father the first time he took Danny in a plane...Danny looked just like his father. He was about 2, I guess. That's when I wrote something." I wiped a tear away. Beautiful story. "You wrote?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. She smiled and nodded. "I don't want you to read it now...but someday," I nodded. "The reason I'm telling you this, honey...is because your father always wanted to. I never did, but he wanted you to know all about his best friend. And now, it's all I can do." She wiped a tear and I smiled at her, wiping away a tear of my own.  
  
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I walked up behind Danny and put my hand on his shoulder. He apprently didn't hit me, because he turned around as fast as he could. I smiled at him. "Sorry." He waved it off, resting his arms on the plane wing. We were in the barn. "Oh, it's ok." I climbed up into the seat. "What'cha doin' out here?" He shrugged. "Was talking to my Dad, now I'm just standing here at the plane and thinking." "About what?" He sighed. "Rafe." I sighed. "What about him?" He sat down on a hay stack. "I don't know. I just feel..I don't know. That I let him down, somehow. He wanted me to be like my father, and going by the stories they told me, I'm nothing like him. He was brave and dignant, and I'm..not that. I know that all RAfe ever wanted for me was to be like my father, and I'm not. And I just know that I disappointed him, despite of what he told me before he passed." i wiped a couple of tears from my face. I missed my father so much, already. "Danny, you are like your father. And trust me, my father was so proud of you. He told me himself." I smiled weakly at him, while he stood up and walked over to me; tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Rebecca," I nodded. "I never meant for any of that crap we put you through." I nodded, even though I didn't care about that. I wanted my Daddy back. This thought on my brain, I felt more tears coming. Danny seeing this, he wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug. "I miss him so much, Danny." He stroked my head, as only a brother could do. "Sssh...everything's going to be alright." I raised my head, slowly; smiling weakly. He wiped a tear of his own away. "What?" He had no idea how much like his father he was. I laughed a little and pulled him back close. "Nothing, Walker." 


	11. Quick Funerals

My father's funeral was going as well as any funeral could. The priest who didn't even know my father is up there telling everyone about what a great man he was. He was great, but this guy didn't even know him, so it bugged me for him to be up there saying that. Why? I couldn't tell you.   
  
"I now bestow upon you Rafe's wife, Evelyn Johnson-McCawley," My mother stood up and walked up to the coffin, placing a single rose on top of it. Her back to those in attendance, she gripped the sides of the coffin and I could only imagine her face. Mine wouldn't be any better, I assure you. She then turned around, her face expectedly tear stained, and walked back to her seat. The minister spoke again. "His adopted son, 18 year old Daniel James Walker, Jr. ," Danny stood up as dignantly as he could, and shakily walked over to the coffin, fulfilling the same duty as my mother. He didn;t stay, though. He immediately turned back around and walked back to his seat as fast as he possibly could. My turn. "And last but not least, Rafe's own daughter, Rebecca Lynn McCawley; who at 14, has lost who will prove to be the most important male figure in her life." I almost wanted to roll my eyes. Who was this guy, and who the hell wrote his eulogy? I stood up and walked over to the coffin. It held no one but my father. No, it didn't hold my father. It held my father's cancer ridden body. My father was in Heaven with Daniel, and they were probably laughing at me because I was wearing my mother's red lipstick. Forcing the tears back, I placed the rose on the coffin. "Come see me later, Daddy." I whispered, more in my head I was so quiet. Looking up and sighing, I walked back to my seat to finish listening to the dinghole minister.  
  
We all stood side by side. Danny, my mother, and I; Standing in our black clothing looking at the freshly planted soil around the newly carved stone memorial that was indentical to Daniel's. My mother sighed. I looked at her while she extended her left hand to my brother. Focusing her gaze to me, she extended her right hand. Accepting, I sighed shakily. We were going inside now. We were going to leave my father in peace. Kind of. I mean, him being right next to Daniel, you know we'd be talking to him plenty enough. My mother squeezed our hands. She was ready to go into the house. I nodded and turned around. We then started walking; my mother holding a piece of each of her deceased, but not forgotten, loves.  
  
I was curled up on the couch, writing in my diary. Nothing special, just my thoughts on how I thought we would move on and how we were going to do. Alright, to answer your question. We were going to be just fine. My father wouldn't have wanted us to stay put, so we were going to move on. Not neccesarilly move on in the forget way, but in the "no more crying" way. Did that make sense? Probably not. I don't seem to make much sense anymore; not that I ever did, or anything. I looked up when I heard a knock at the door. I glanced at the clock. At 10 o'clock at night? Who the hell? I took off my reading glasses and walked to the door, unlocking it. Tina was on the other side. I sighed and opened it for her to come in. "What do you want?" I asked. She entered the house, closing the door behind her. She coughed. She was sick, I could tell by the way she was talking. "Listen, I know I've done some shitty things, but know this. As pissed off at you as I am, I am SO SORRY about your dad," She started for the door. I wasn't going to stop her. "And since you're obviously not going to ask me to stay for some coffee or something, I'll go. Just tell Danny that I'm sorry, will you?" I nodded. She smiled slightly and opened the door, walking out. Maybe I would've believed her if she hadn't told me to tell Danny. 


	12. Moving On---The End

5 months Later  
  
I laid with my back on the ground, staring at the sky while I chewed on the apple. It was such a beautiful day; no rain or clouds. Just the sun and a nice, spring breeze. I smiled a little and turned my head to the right. Danny must have fallen asleep out here, on the grass. Oh well. I wasn't in much of a mood for conversation anyway. I just wanted to think and reflect...in 9 short months, I had learned the biggest secret my family kept, my father had been diagnosed with cancer, my father had died, and we had moved on. I missed my father, and so I didn't forget to talk to him atleast once a week. But, I can't tell a lie. (technically, I can, I'm just not going to.) I was getting kind of used to it being just me, Mama, and Danny. We had fun. Mama was going to take us to town to go to the drive-in some this summer, and we had already gone to the pond on some picnics, and went swimming.  
  
I don't think my mother had ever really been given the chance to bond with either of children. I mean, she had, but she'd never really done it. She'd been over-protective of Danny, but would never get close to him for the fear of having a "Daniel Episode". She would admit later that it wasn't that she didn't love her son, but she sometimes couldn't even stand looking at him or listening to him talk. But she did love her son, with all she had and more than that. He was the only son she had, and would ever have. He was also the only part of Daniel she had left, and for that she would make sure that nothing ever happened to him. I'm glad she finally decided to get close to him. It did alot of good for both of them. Danny would probably not feel that the only person he had to talk to couldn't talk back to him, and she would stop being so heart wrenched.   
  
As for me? I had never made the effort. I looked up to my father so much that my mother was just kind of there to be that, my mother. After my father passed, I had finally started seeing her as a friend. I still longed to be like my father, and would try as hard as I could to make him proud of me.   
  
"Becky?" I looked over. Danny was looking at me, fully awake. "What?" He put his elbows behind his head. "Thank you." I narrowed my eyes. "For what?" He looked up. "For being my sister." I smiled and looked up as well. Thank you, Daniel. Thank you for giving me my best friend.   
  
We just laid there, long ways and head to head, the longer part of our bodies covering our fathers' graves.   
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I'm writing this before you now, not as a young girl of 14 in 1960, but as an old woman of 54 in 2001. My mother has long since passed, and Danny is about to catch up with her. We lived our lives in solitude, for the rest of the time...just the 3 of us. No one else. Then, after my mother's death in 1972, I left. I left Danny with the farm, and went to Nashville...taking a copy of my mother's piece of writing work with me.   
***  
I entered the record label hastily. "Can I help you?" A young man asked. I, being a 26 year old strong willed woman, slapped the paper down on the desk. Looking in to his deep green eyes, I gave him his orders. "Listen. I want this song to be published. I don't care who sings it, I don't even care who you say wrote it. Just give someone credit it for it and get it on the airwaves. Are we clear?" He gave me a funny look and nodded, taking the piece of paper behind the desk with him. I nodded as well, and walked out.  
***  
It would be nearly 20 years before I would ever hear my mother's song on the radio. Atleast they did it, though. I'm thankful for that. And while I sit here caring for my sick brother on our farm in Shelbyville, Tennessee, I can listen to it.   
  
  
A/N: That's the end of this story...it was kind of dumb, I know. I wrote it in a hurry. Plus, i'm not really good at putting my visuals down in story form(the ending of danny and becky laying there) but, if I get enough reviews I'll put kind of a "continuation" thing up...like what happened in the time I didn't write about. Could be either before this story began, or the time after Rafe died. I don't know, you guys give me your ideas. Thanks for reading, and thank you to all that reviewed...it helped me alot. I tried to do what you all asked, sorry if it wasn't quite good enough still. lol. :) 


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